Remember the old joke? The comic comes onstage and the first words out of his mouth are, “Well, how do you like me so far?” The audience alw...
Remember the old joke? The comic comes onstage and the first
words out of his mouth are, “Well, how do you like me so far?”
The audience always cracks up. Why? Because we all silently ask
that question. Whenever we meet someone, we know, consciously
or subconsciously, how they’re reacting to us.
Do they look at us? Do they smile? Do they lean toward us?
Do they somehow recognize how wonderful and special we are?
We like those people. They have good taste. Or do they turn away,
obviously unimpressed by our magnificence. The cretins!
Two people getting to know each other are like little puppies
sniffing each other out. We don’t have tails that wag or hair that
bristles. But we do have eyes that narrow or widen. And hands
that flash knuckles or subconsciously soften in the palms-up “I
submit” position. We have dozens of other involuntary reactions
that take place in the first few moments of togetherness.
Attorneys conducting voir dire are exquisitely aware of this.
They pay close attention to your instinctive body reactions. They
watch to see how fully you are facing them and just how far forward or back you’re leaning while answering their questions. They
check out your hands. Are they softly open, palms up, signifying
acceptance of the ideas they’re expressing? Or are you making a
slight fist, knuckles out, signaling rejection? They scrutinize your face for the split seconds you break eye contact when discussing
relevant subjects like your feelings on big awards for damages or
the death penalty. Sometimes attorneys bring along a legal assistant whose sole job is to sit on the sidelines and take precise note
of your every fidget.
An interesting aside: trial lawyers often choose women to do
this twitch-and-turn spying job because, traditionally, females are
sharper observers of subtle body cues than males. Women, more
sensitive to emotions than men, often ask their husbands, “Is
something bothering you, Honey?” (These supersensitive women
accuse their husbands of being so insensitive to emotions that they
wouldn’t notice anything is wrong until their neckties are drenched
in her tears.)
The attorney and the assistant then review your “score” on the
dozens of subconscious signals you flashed. Depending on their
tally, you could find yourself on jury duty or twiddling your
thumbs back in the juror’s waiting room.
Trial lawyers are so conscious of body language that, in the
1960s during the famous trial of the Chicago Seven, defense attorney William Kuntsler actually made a legal objection to Judge
Julius Hoffman’s posture. During the summation by the prosecution, Judge Hoffman leaned forward, which, accused Kuntsler,
sent a message to the jury of attention and interest. During his
defense summation, complained Kuntsler, Judge Hoffman leaned
back, sending the jury a subliminal message of disinterest.
words out of his mouth are, “Well, how do you like me so far?”
The audience always cracks up. Why? Because we all silently ask
that question. Whenever we meet someone, we know, consciously
or subconsciously, how they’re reacting to us.
Do they look at us? Do they smile? Do they lean toward us?
Do they somehow recognize how wonderful and special we are?
We like those people. They have good taste. Or do they turn away,
obviously unimpressed by our magnificence. The cretins!
Two people getting to know each other are like little puppies
sniffing each other out. We don’t have tails that wag or hair that
bristles. But we do have eyes that narrow or widen. And hands
that flash knuckles or subconsciously soften in the palms-up “I
submit” position. We have dozens of other involuntary reactions
that take place in the first few moments of togetherness.
Attorneys conducting voir dire are exquisitely aware of this.
They pay close attention to your instinctive body reactions. They
watch to see how fully you are facing them and just how far forward or back you’re leaning while answering their questions. They
check out your hands. Are they softly open, palms up, signifying
acceptance of the ideas they’re expressing? Or are you making a
slight fist, knuckles out, signaling rejection? They scrutinize your face for the split seconds you break eye contact when discussing
relevant subjects like your feelings on big awards for damages or
the death penalty. Sometimes attorneys bring along a legal assistant whose sole job is to sit on the sidelines and take precise note
of your every fidget.
An interesting aside: trial lawyers often choose women to do
this twitch-and-turn spying job because, traditionally, females are
sharper observers of subtle body cues than males. Women, more
sensitive to emotions than men, often ask their husbands, “Is
something bothering you, Honey?” (These supersensitive women
accuse their husbands of being so insensitive to emotions that they
wouldn’t notice anything is wrong until their neckties are drenched
in her tears.)
The attorney and the assistant then review your “score” on the
dozens of subconscious signals you flashed. Depending on their
tally, you could find yourself on jury duty or twiddling your
thumbs back in the juror’s waiting room.
Trial lawyers are so conscious of body language that, in the
1960s during the famous trial of the Chicago Seven, defense attorney William Kuntsler actually made a legal objection to Judge
Julius Hoffman’s posture. During the summation by the prosecution, Judge Hoffman leaned forward, which, accused Kuntsler,
sent a message to the jury of attention and interest. During his
defense summation, complained Kuntsler, Judge Hoffman leaned
back, sending the jury a subliminal message of disinterest.
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